Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

This is Jane's cat Baxter; he was like her child...He's living with us now...

My mom, who is usually hard as a rock, lost a really good friend on Monday, and we attended her funeral service today. It really hit me because my mom, who NEVER cries, was really broke up about her dear friend. Jane was a really nice lady who worked with my mother at SSC. She had a wicked sense of humor...She was also very giving and always thought about others. When I became ill and was hospitalized, she sent me my favorite things (magazines) just so I could have something to pass the time. I should also mention that she was very sick as well. I just feel like the good people out here always leave early and the ignorant folks live forEVER...

Here's a poem that was Jane's obituary that I'd like to share:

LIFE CLOCK
The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late of early hour.

Now is the only time you own;
Live, Love, tell with a will...
Place no faith in "Tomorrow" for
The clock may then be still.

RIP. Jane E. Dillon (March 25, 1963 - December 28, 2009)

I Don’t Wanna Be Your STAN…

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while.  This spring, I got reacquainted with a gentleman that I knew from WAY back in the day.  Let’s call him…Pierre (not his real name).  Pierre was cute in junior high & high school – now fast-forward about 11 years.  Homey put on about a good 30 pounds of muscle, got some facial hair – basically good got better!  LOL!  He is the IBM (Ideal Black Man) – no kids, good job, educated, good looking, spiritual…the list goes on and on…We visited each other (which was hard because he lives out of state).  We went out on a few dates.  We talked all the time.  So…you might ask, what was the problem?  I felt that the brother wanted me to be a STAN.  What is a STAN?  It basically means that you are a STAND-IN until something better comes along for that person.

The signs didn’t hit me all at once.  They were very gradual.  He always asked me for advice – very needy.  But that wasn’t a problem for me.  The issue was that it was situations about what he should do in particular situations.  Second sign – I called him on more than one occasion and he was actually out on a date! (Yes, I know….I can’t believe it either!)  But that didn’t matter to me either (yep…getting REAL stupid here, I know!)  because he and I were NOT in a committed relationship with each other…so it wasn’t exactly like he was cheating on me.

The last straw was his lack of wanting to be in a relationship.  I asked him a couple of times about where did he see us going, and he couldn’t give me a straight answer.  I heard everything from he needed to work on himself…to he needed to resolve some crazy issues with his estranged father…in short, he sounded like a politician.  That’s when I knew that it was time for me to ride out. (Thanks, Steve Harvey!)  Ladies…get that book!  Also, check out The Conversation by Hill Harper...

I refuse to be a STAN any longer.  Why do people put in the time with another person when they know being in a relationship isn’t what they want?  You’re not gonna get the benefits of being in a relationship with me without BEING with me.  Why?  So I can prepare you for the next chick that comes along?  Naw bruh…I’m sorry, but I can’t be your STAN any longer.  Be well, and I hope you find what you are looking for because that’s what I intend on doing…

P.S.  On a side note, I told my best friend Felise (not her real name) that Pierre probably has a girlfriend by now…and wouldn’t you know…He called me and told me so…Best of luck to you Pierre…

What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?

As you might know (...and if you don't know, now you know...lol) Halloween is my favorite holiday. And with that comes scary movies! In the spirit of Halloween, I'm listing, in my opinion, the top 15 scariest movies...I can watch all of them, except one (guess which one it is)!







1. The Exorcist
2. Hostel
3. Halloween
4. The Thing
5. Saw
6. Friday the 13th (part 2; in part one, the killer wasn't Jason...who was it?)
7. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
8. The Fly
9. Alien
10. A Nightmare on Elm Street
11. Carrie
12. Seven
13. Dawn of the Dead
14. Jaws
15. The Omen

***Runner-Up: The Hitcher***

Tell me what you think!

Buying Black

When I went to church this past Sunday, we had a guest speaker, Maggie Anderson, from the Empowerment Experience.  In a nutshell, Maggie and her husband John, pledged to patronize only Black-Owned businesses for one year.  Now, I was truly feeling her message.  We need to give Black Business Owners a shot at establishing and growing their companies.  Large scale corporations squeeze out the Mom & Pop businesses all the time (where you at Starbucks & Wal-Mart?), so it feels good to root for the underdog, so to speak.

I went home and looked up the Empowerment Experience online, and just when I thought all was well…I found out that it wasn’t.  This is not to say that the Andersons are doing something wrong…other ethnicities do this as well.  Jews support Jews businesses and Latinos support Latinos, etc.  On MSNBC.com, people spewed so much hatred…you would’ve thought that they murdered somebody.  Comments about sending them back to Africa where they belong were commonplace.  Then I thought about it.  If I bought from Black-Owned businesses only, would that make me a racist?

I’m not sure; and while I’d love to support Black-owned businesses, there are some places that are owned by Whites, Asians, Latinos, Indians, etc.  that I patronize on the regular.  Why?  Because they give great service and they have great prices.  Would continuing to support them make me a sell-out?  I’ve been going back and forth on this for the past couple of days…what do you think? 

Something Like a Phenomenon

I try not to discuss celebrities on my blog, but I absolutely have to make an exception for Michael Jackson.  He is THE greatest entertainer of ALL time, and it truly breaks my heart to write this.   This will most likely be the one & only blog that I write about Michael Jackson.  I was a huge fan to say the least.  In fact, I was going to beg, borrow and doggone near steal so that I could fly to London to go to the concert (yes…a sister had a ticket!).  I didn’t believe that he passed…just another sick, cruel joke at his expense.  But it was true, and I would never get to meet the ONLY superstar that had me in awe…

To me, Michael was a superhero.  And I’m not here to say he was weird, innocent, crazy  or whatever…I can’t pass judgment on the man when I’ve committed some sins in my life (you shouldn’t either, but that’s another story for another day).  Michael was Michael, and as a die-hard fan, that was good enough for me.

Rest in piece, Mike.  Maybe now, you can get some relief.  It’s a shame that you had to die before folks could appreciate your musical genius and humanitarian deeds.  Job well done…PEACE.

P.S.  Sorry it took me so long to get this done Mike…Love Ya!

It's Been a Long Time...

Sorry I haven't been active for a while.  Work and School was kicking my butt!  Now that I have some type of routine down...I will try to post twice a week.  Now...on with the posting!

Hitting up the East Coast...

Wow....summer is pretty much gone...and with it school begins. After a crazy job being a summer camp director, I decided to take a mini-vacation. I went to:

Baltimore

Washington DC

and New York City




It was a welcome respite to a crazy summer. All cities were beautiful, but different. They all had something to offer...Can't wait to return...

Updating Slowly but Surely...

I'm working crazy hours...and I don't have much time to write. I'm updating slowly but surely. Hopefully I'll get back soon... :)

What Are You Fighting For?

I live in the South Suburbs of Chicago; and for the past three years, I have been looking at the violence that has been plaguing our communities. It's sad. A soldier came home from Iraq to be shot on the street like a dog when he was deliberately trying to avoid the confrontation between two guys. A shame. Simeon Sanders had to come home to die after he risked his life fighting for our country.

Just last night, there was a 6 year old boy that was shot twice while playing in his room. This kid wasn't bothering anyone. A couple of weeks ago, a nine year old girl was killed while washing her dog outside with her father. Again, a shame...and the list grows longer with each day. And these are the cases that we KNOW about.

I'm tired of it. Sick of it. Most of this activity has been attributed to gang bangers. So I have a question for you: What the hell are you fighting for? It's the biggest damn mystery known to man right now. Can't these issues be squashed?

I'm not familiar with gangs and stuff like that (and if you can explain it to me...please do) but it sounds real petty to me. I've heard a couple things and again, it sounds real stupid, so please educate me.

• We fighting over our territory: Please....you don't own shit...I'll repeat...you don't own anything. Do you pay taxes or a mortgage? If you don't...keep it moving.

• He/She disrespected me: Okay...I can halfway see your point on this one. But why does disrespect equal death? I mean...really, is it that serious?
  

This is the real world...and that stuff only works in the movies and rap songs...Too many innocent people are dying because folks want to be ignorant...It's just frustrating. To close this, take a look at this poem by Gemini, and ask the question: What are You Fighting For?

Ain't Too Proud to Beg!

I was listening to The Doug & DeDe Show last week and they were debating on a very interesting topic. Are Black people (or any other group of people, for that matter) too proud to take any type of job? There were some people that were calling in and relating their stories about how they've had to find other jobs that weren't in their field because of losing their jobs. Some folks were able to find something that was similar to the field that they either got their degree in or something in which they had prior experience. There were people that called in that weren't trying to get a job unless they could get it in their field. They weren't trying to get a job doing something else, like work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart until something better came along.

(I know you remember Calvin, don't you?)

I have a confession to make...I'm guilty of this too...Yes I am. I could've gotten a job at K-Mart, or Popeyes, or even that doggone Macy's...but I was so worried about what other would think about me, a college grad, working at a fast-food restaurant or department store. Yeah, it's a stuggling economy, but my pride was WAY too strong, and I've been broke as hell for the past 6+ months because of it. Let me give you some background: I come from a small town...and I still live closeby. Most of the folks here aren't highly educated and they are mostly negative, hence my wanting to relocate to New York City. Throughout my years, myself and most of my friends were teased because we were smart. When I went away to college and came home for breaks, I would see people from home and they would always make snide remarks about being me acting better than them because I chose to go to college. It really screwed with my psyche too.

When I graduated and returned home from school, I got a job that had nothing to do with my major. Hell, I had bills to pay and it's boring watching Maury everyday. I remember talking to a girl that I went to high school with and she said "It's a shame that you went to school for nothing." Wow...this from someone that dropped out of school. It continues to eat at me. Was school truly worth it? When I lost my job last fall, I took some time to reflect on what I really want to do...it took some time, but I've got it figured out. But, in the meantime...I'm broke. I had no intention of working at a fast-food restaurant. I guess my pride got in the way. I didn't want anyone to see me and make fun of me.

I went to work with my mother (she has a cleaning business outside of her regular job). I felt that embarrassment coming...but I needed the cash. My mom looked at me and said, "F$&k what folks have to say...you better get this money." I went and worked my butt off. As I was working, my mom came in and said, "there's pride in hard work...if you do the right thing, you're OK...at least you know you're doing good work and getting paid for it." Thanks for the reality check, Mom. I needed it...

Movie Spotlight: I'm Through With White Girls

I had reservations about this movie...but to my surprise, it was really good! Here's the synopsis (courtesy of IMDB.com):

"Having recently been involved in a disastrous string of relationships with white women, a hip black comic book artist must confront his own fear of commitment after vowing to exclusively date women of his own race. Jay is a hip black comic book artist whose experiences dating white women have left him wanting more. Realizing that he's in desperate need of some serious change, Jay launches "Operation Brown Sugar," and subsequently begins dating a beautiful "Halfrican-Canadian" writer. Now that race doesn't factor into Jay's dating habits anymore he feels like he may have found the love of his life. But while he may not have to worry about ending up with the wrong girl, Jay is about to discover that he may be in danger of letting the right one slip through his grasp."

It was funny and quirky! I always see those off-beat comedies starring Jack Black, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, etc., and I always wanted to see one with a predominately Black cast. Here is one that had me cracking up! When you get a chance, check it out! I don't think you'll be disappointed...

To Be…or Not to Be? That is the Question…

I have to say that I’m disappointed in the decision by the California Legislature not to pass Proposition 8. I don’t think that the government should have a say so in who should be together. The LBGT community participates in the very being of having to be an American; by that I mean voting, paying taxes, etc., so why can’t they be with who they want to be with? It bugs me that sometimes our country can be so focused on minute things when we could be focused on that needs our total focus (unemployment…soldiers in Iraq, the economy – hello?).

When I was in high school, I had some teammates that I played sports with that have later on came out of the closet, and it didn’t make me feel different in any way towards them at all. In my opinion...there are two types of people in this world. You are either cool people or you're not cool people. That's it. If you're sometimey, then you're not cool. It's as simple as that. My mind traveled back down memory lane and I recalled some incidents (that I’ve seen & read about) that have cemented my belief that being anything other than heterosexual one of the most stressful things to be in America besides being the President (not equating the two...just making a comparison about how stressed one can be in those situations). When I first started playing sports, my father (and his side of the family) was excited…his daughter was following in a long family tradition of being an athlete. On the other hand, my mom’s family wasn’t having it. I can vividly recall an aunt admonishing me about being a lesbian…just because I dribbled a basketball. I mean, for real…why not ask me first before you make an assumption, huh? That stressed ME out at an early age, and I’m heterosexual, so I can only imagine how it could bother & stress the hell out of someone from the LBGT community.

I watched a TV show where there was a debate among some members of the lesbian/gay community – the issue being: is being gay something that you’re born with, or is it something that you choose to be? I applied it to my thinking: I didn’t choose to be heterosexual; it’s just something that was instinctive to me. But I also believe that there are some people out there that choose to be heterosexual and I think it’s the same for homosexuals as well.

I have a cousin; he’s one of the sweetest kids & he’s about 9 years old. He has what some people would consider feminine tendencies, and he talks with a feminine-like voice. When he plays video games, he plays with the female characters, when he watches cartoons, he watches things like the Powerpuff Girls instead of G.I. Joe (I know I’m dating myself here…LOL), and he loves to dance and sing; he really doesn’t care for sports or any “BOY” stuff. When he grows up, he wants to be a chef (and he’s a great cook). I don’t think he has a clue about what being gay means, but some of our family members think that he’s going to be gay when he grows up because of these characteristics, and they are beginning to treat him awkwardly because of it. It pisses me off that they do this to him. If he is exposed to this; and he does become gay, isn’t that conditioning him to be that way? Isn’t that making him gay without his consent? I guess my point here is that it should be up to that person. Whether being homosexual from birth or whether they choose to be that way…it’s up to them. That’s supposed to be the beauty of living in this country…freedom to choose without being judged for living YOUR life. Tell me what you think! I welcome all opinions, thoughts, beliefs, etc., as long as they aren’t disrespectful…

Random Thoughts that Run Through My Head...

1. When will I get a job? I want to be able to pay my bills on time and go shopping!
2. I haven't been to the club in a while...time to go out and do the Stanky Leg..haha!
3. What can I do to my hair? I'm natural now...but I'm very tempted to relax it...
4. I could just kick that woman's ass for that kidnapping hoax...time that was wasted looking for you could've been spent on somebody that really needed the help.
5. I'm not even gonna touch the fact that she blamed it to 2 or 3 black men...

6. I think it's time...to pimp my ride...LOL! (Where's X-Hibit?)
7. When is this damn recession going to be over?
8. I can admit the fact that I'm a little envious of everyone taking vacations and I can't go... :(
9. Where all the fine brothas at?
10. I really need to be in New York....

11. What's up with these wack-ass songs? If I hear Birthday Sex one more time...
12. Can folks leave my President alone and let him do his damn job?
13. Why don't people discipline their kids?
14. I wonder how my life would be different if I went to another college.
15. Can somebody please beat the Lakers?(Come on Denver...) I seriously can't stand that lame Kobe Bryant. (yeah! I said it!)

See You at the Crossroads...

Since I didn't get accepted into the New York Teaching Fellows Programs, I've been at a crossroads. Not getting into the programs has made me think...am I supposed to be a teacher? Or is that my sign to get into something else? I've always wanted to be a writer, and I truly enjoy doing it. However, I don't see myself making a that a full-time career at this point - it's something that I enjoy strictly for the fun of it. Sooo...now we're back to square one: What do I wanna be when I grow up? (I only say that phrase because I haven't figured out what I want to do just yet).

Here are my options:

- Teacher: I love working with kids and I want to help them become better people. I would like to work with kids in the inner-city because they need the most help and since I was went to school in a district that was considered to have a large low-income population. I was lucky to have some teachers & parents who cared. The downside: I'm not sure if I have the patience to deal with the kids on a long term basis; with that being said, I don't want to be a disservice to the kids.

- Doctor: I always have a love for medicine and the sciences. I also have great people and communication skills. My bachelors degree is already in Kinesiology, so I would just have some more additional science courses that would take about a year before beginning medical school. The downside...the additional 4+ years of schooling. That's it. I'm positive I can handle everything else...

- Another alternative: Physician Assistant. Again it's in the medical field, and I would be working with people. It offers a great salary ($75,000 - $84,000) and I would have to do about 2 more years of school. The downside: if I am going to do this, I might as well go to medical school.

I can't imagine doing anything else, so now you see my dilemma. What to do...so many options...

I Miss You...Old Eddie Murphy!!!

I was driving on my way to work this morning...I couldn't find my glasses and was frustrated. I knew I was going to be late...basically I knew today was going to be terrible. When I turned to the Tom Joyner Morning Show, a comedian was doing a hilarious routine...the voice sounded familiar...but I couldn't place it. The routine was SOOOO funny. It made me feel better, then it dawned on me: It's Eddie Murphy!


Here's the two clips they played this morning:






Back in the day Eddie Murphy...not Daddy Day Care Eddie Murphy...now don't get me wrong, I KNOW he is a genius...and I love all of his work (even Pluto Nash...not Meet Dave though), but I miss his movies & stand-up routines like Raw, Delirious, Trading Places, Coming to America, Boomerang, etc. Eddie...come back! I miss you! I know you gotta do stuff for the kids...But PLEASE INDULGE US GROWN FOLKS!

I'm a fan of Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer, Chris Rock, etc., and they are funny...but can they really touch Eddie? Let me know what you think while you're laughing at the videos....Ciao!

I Believe That Children are the Future...

There is one thing that I am really passionate about...and that is young people. Kids are the most honest people in the world and it's so refreshing to hear their thoughts about stuff. They are usually so un-biased, and believe it or not, they are usually on the money with their observations. Most of the time, people don't give them a chance - they write them off and treat them like crap. I always fight for the underdog, that's why I'm such an advocate for kids...and the biggest reason why I wanted to be a teacher in the inner-city. But lately, I've been seeing a lot of stuff that literally wants to be sing like Marvin Gaye..."Makes me wanna holler, and throw up my hands."

After losing my job in the insurance industry, I had a hard time getting a job; but I have one as a scorer for a testing company. Basically, I score state standardized tests for the 8th grade level; when I read these papers it just depresses me. They are from all over the state, and from all different school districts. You can CLEARLY see the difference of students in rich and poor school districts...and it breaks my heart.Here's an example; one day while I was reading these essays, I noticed that there were a majority of misspelled words. Now, I know that I'm not Akilah and the Bee...but these words are basic...I wrote them down. Take a look...

conquer - concur
courage - curaj
father - faughther
obstacle - opstickal
doubt - daut
experience - expereenz
innocent - inknowsent
rely - relie

A majority of the kids are doomed. They lack the basic reading, writing & comprehension skills in order to be successful; and they are in the 8th grade...if they are struggling in 8th grade, you know it's over when they get into high school. If they can't read & write, you damn sure can't expect them to do math and other things. What is going on with them? I can't blame BET for this one...OK, I can give them some of the blame...LOL. I know it starts at home, but how do we (Educators, etc.) we fix this? What can we do to help them? What becomes of the kids?

Lemons & Lemonade...

Trying to see the good in a bad situation is a hard thing. I didn't get admitted into the New York City Teaching Fellowship Program. I REALLY wanted to get in...but, due to budget cuts, the economy...they cut their co-hort in half. While I'm disappointed as hell about the whole thing...I'm glad I didn't make it for a couple of reasons:

- I would've had to move to NYC within a month's notice with no cash (which is impossible), so I would've had to turn it down anyways.
- They only give 7 weeks of training before you're thrown into a class & expected to teach these kids.
- Since I won't be in NYC, I can finish some projects and actually pay off my car (and other debt) this year...make it to the family & class reunion...and take that Vegas vacation in October...

I'm not knocking the NYCTF at all - I understand where they are coming from - they have to protect their neck and make sure that they don't accept more people than jobs are available. I just wanted to be out of a bad situation - it's not bad, but it isn't what I want right now (living at home, no money, temp job, etc.) ASAP. I wanted to relocate and start a new life...but that will come later than sooner (yes I mean to say it that way).

This setback is allowing me to make preparations for my come-up...I'm going to go through the traditional route and get my Masters in Education...that way I know what to expect...I'll be working too and I can save to make the right move so that I'm not struggling...

When life hands you lemons...make lemonade! So for now...have a cold glass on me!

Dear God...

Dear God:

It’s me, SLC. I haven’t talked to you in while, so I figured I’d give you an update. The past six months have been absolutely awful, and that is an understatement to say the least. I don’t mean to complain, but can you clue me in? Am I doing something wrong? Now, I do realize that I’m not perfect, but I attend church, treat people the way I want to be treated, I tithe, and I am active in ministry. I try hard to make a positive difference in my life, and bring something positive in someone else’s, but lately my motivation is seriously waning and when I lose my motivation, things can start to get bad because I’m gonna stop caring about stuff…and that can get dangerous. What do I have to do in order for things to turn out ok? You know what…you don’t have to answer that.

God, I’m going to ask a small favor from you. I’m not asking for much, I don’t need a ton of money (although it would be nice) or anything like that. God, I would just like to have one thing….just a little bit of good news. Something that will brighten my day and make me walk down the street smiling and singing to myself. That’s it, God…just some good news…please. Thanks for listening and I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
SLC

Family? What About Family??

I've come to the conclusion that I am a Reality TV freak! Monday through Friday, I am watching some show, from The Biggest Loser, From G's to Gents, For the Love of Ray J, America's Best Dance Crew, Harlem Heights (which I am liking enough right now to stop by BET boycott momentarily) and last but not least, Making the Band 4. I have a love/hate relationship with this show. Why? Because Diddy (I absolutely admire his entrepreneurial skills) just drags the show on too long. I need them to make a decision about this dog-gone group Danity Kane. They are dragging this storyline so much that I just wish that they edit them out of the show. I'm quoting Steve Harvey right now ("We all know what its bout! Bring on the water!). Come on already....Geez...

I love watching the guys, Day26...I think that they have some of the best voices out there. But this past episode really made me notice something and not for the good. As of right now, the guys' contract are in the process of being negotiated, and until the negotiations are finalized, they can't record in the studio, book shows, etc. In other words, these guys aren't making any money...and they are feeling the PINCH. Haven't you heard? It's a recession!

One of my favorite members, Que, was really having some problems. He stated that he didn’t have a father and he had to take care of his family because he was the man in the household. MTV then cut to a clip of him talking to his mother, explaining to her why he didn’t have any money. I got the impression from the conversation that she was asking him for some. As he explained to his fellow band mates what was going on, my heart went out to him. His mother quit her job, the family was in the process of moving into a new home and his sister was at home. He went on to explain that with this launch of their first CD, he never got a real chance to spend his money the way he wanted to; he was taking care of his family instead. He has the whole weight of his family on his shoulders at the young age of 20! All I could think about was, “it’s not your responsibility, Que!” I understand that you’re making a living in the music industry, but your mother is a grown woman, and if you weren’t in the music industry, she wouldn’t have quit her job…she would still be working. I loved when Brian told him that it wasn’t his responsibility. Now Que is all stressed out about money when he should be relaxing and enjoying this time in his life (note to Diddy: hurry up and pay these guys…please!).



This reminds me of when you see some of the guys that just make it in the NFL or NBA; they come from nothing…then all of a sudden they have more money in a matter of weeks than they have seen in their entire lives.

Sportscaster: What are you going to do now Johnny now that you've made it to the NFL?
Johnny: First thing I'm doing is buying my mama a house and a car...

Family, friends and others that you vaguely remember come out of the woodwork, with stories of hard times, business plans that is going to make everybody blow up and putting guilt trips on the newly rich: “You wouldn’t be where you were if it weren’t for me…” If these guys were in any other profession like doctors, lawyers or engineers would people still be coming at them for handouts? Are they really obligated to help people out financially and what is the limit to which they should help people. These men and women help out so much to the point that they don’t have anything for themselves and then they are forced to work extra hard to maintain the lifestyle…and that’s not fair to them. I know of one NFL player from my area that bought his mother and sister a house, cars and gave them monthly allowances. When he got cut from his team, he was unable to get signed to another team, and now he’s broke…but his mom and sister got theirs…

How much is too much? Why should you feel obligated? Your parents made the choice to bring you into this world and take care of you…Anything else that you do for them is extra. Now I’m not saying cut them off totally, but I think you should do what you can within reason. If you WANT to take care of their every need then by all means, go ahead. But I don’t feel like you HAVE to do so. That just creates a monster in the long run that can destroy families (because I believe that family/friends & money is/are a horrible cocktail). Am I wrong for feeling that way?

But back to Que…take care of yourself, homey. Your money is coming…just remember that the music industry is fickle as hell, so use your money wisely and invest it properly…in other words, make your money work for you now, so you don’t have to work for it later…

**photo of the NFL draft is used for illustrative use only…I don’t know those guys and I don’t know if they got their family on payroll…LOL!**

25 Random Things About Me...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


Normally, I don’t do these…but I read everyone else’s list. So, I’m gonna do one too…Don’t laugh…

1. My favorite color is blue…I don’t care what shade of blue…it can sky blue, aqua blue, or midnight blue…just as long as it’s blue…

2. I hate when people ask me where I’m going. If I wanted you to know, I WOULD TELL YOU!!!!

3. I am scared that I won’t be able to have children. Why? Because I’m absolutely crazy about them. It’s usually the people that really, really want kids can’t have them and a lady or couple that don’t want kids and/or mistreat/abuse them will have a lot. Ironic, isn’t it?

4. I’m terrified that I will die early in life, and while I am sleep. For that reason, I hate going to sleep (I’m usually up until 3-4am) and I try to get the least amount of sleep as possible.

5. I hate medication. I think that it’s a way for other people to control you; it dulls your senses & makes you into a walking, talking, but catatonic zombie. I also think it’s a cop-out for doctors (they get you in and out of the office ASAP to increase the number of patients they see and make more money; plus I think they get kick-backs from pharmaceutical companies). If doctors took the time to really talk to you, they could find an alternative way to treat you, unless it was absolutely imperative to give you medicine.

6. I am a conspiracy theorist…didn’t you read #5! I think the government is behind a lot of things that are wrong. If you get the time, ask me about AIDS in the USA and 9/11.

7. I am THE MICHAEL JACKSON FAN. I know all of his songs, I know the dance moves. I am praying he goes on tour so that I can go…FRONT ROW! But if I had kids, I will confess that I would never let him babysit…

8. I’m starting to think that I need new friends. I feel like I don’t have a lot in common with them anymore. Plus, every time they have a problem, they call me, I listen and offer solutions and try to help as best I can. But when I need someone to listen to, they ain’t trying to hear anything I have to say…so I really don’t talk to them anymore.

9. I’m really hard on myself. I’m my harshest critic.

10. When I was younger, I used to eat cigarettes (Salem, Newports & Pall Mall). My father jokes that it stunted my growth…if I didn’t eat them, I’d be at least 6’3 instead of just 5’10…lol…

11. I hate stupid people…they kill me with their stupidity. They’re really good too. You won’t know they’re stupid until you’re good into a conversation with them…then you’re like DAMN! I just wasted time talking to this stupid (insert cuss word here). I think if people had stickers letting us know what we are dealing with…the world would be a better place.

12. I love going to the movies. I have to be there to see the previews, that way; I can make a mental note about the movies that I’ll see in the future. If I don’t see the previews, I don’t want to watch the movie.

13. 2008 was the worst year that I’ve ever had. 2009 will be better…I’m sure of it!

14. It took me a long time to find what I want to do with my life…but I’ve finally figured it out. I want to own my magazine and freelance writing (articles, screenplays and songs). My backup plan is to be a teacher.

15. I’m so glad that I didn’t become a lawyer or a doctor.

16. I have an ongoing fantasy that I’m the lead singer of an all-girl band. Kind of like a female EWF or Maze ft. Frankie Beverly. (You thought it was going to be nasty didn’t you?)

17. I love music – all genres. You can look at my MP3 player and see music ranging from Tupac to Steeley Dan. (yeah – look it up, they’re good)

18. I’m still salty about those Negroes that stole my car. Now I have to pay for car repairs (the damages are below my deductible so I have to pay out of pocket) because these fools want to steal. If I see them around my car again, I’ll be sending another note asking for bail money because I shot those fools.

19. I can read and play music (4 instruments), but I want to learn other instruments: mainly the drums, trumpet, trombone, bass, flute and the alto saxophone).

20. I break stuff. I don’t mean to do it on purpose; I just don’t know my own strength. When I do break stuff, I try to fix it ASAP so my brothers don’t make fun of me. They call me the BEAST…lol…

21. I need to lose weight, but I have no motivation. I wanted to go on the Biggest Loser because I think I would do well, but I have no desire to be on national TV with a sports bra and biker shorts…

22. I should’ve taken sports more seriously in high school so that I could’ve received a sports scholarship. I just got burned out (thanks Kenan). I see some women on the court and I like damn! I could kill them in the paint.

23. I have a serious crush on Q-Tip. It may sound weird (and I don’t give a damn what you think), but he is so sexy…totally not what I usually go or in a guy. I saw him in concert last summer and I was so in love…

24. I hate repeating myself to people that I know UNDERSTAND me. What I’m saying to you isn’t going to change…it’s just going to piss me off and make me cuss you out.

25. I’m crazy about my brothers…despite the fact that they drive me crazy, I’m still crazy about them, and will cut anyone that tries to do them harm. Ask some females out there about me that have tried to start some drama with Dean! LOL! I’m so good at it that others have asked to be their Big Sis for this very same reason.

Aretha Franklin

Ok People...I've been hearing the jokes about Aretha's hat at the inauguration...lol...but I must say that it's completely normal for black women to wear them in church. Now, I must admit, I never was that big of an Aretha fan (I just never listened to her music). I've been getting my music library together and my father told me to take a look at her music because in his words, "She BAAADDDD!" (thanks Dad!) Lately I've been listening mainly to a lot of old school because

1. Old school artists make the best music (they sing with their soul...their BEING, and you can FEEL it)

AND

2. Most of the old school artist's music is imitated anyway, so why not listen to the original.

So, I bought her greatest hit CD and have been CONVERTED ever since, just based on this one song:



This isn't the best video, but it's decent. I'm mad that I've been sleep on her for all these years! She is BAAADDD! This is the song that I've been feeling...Everyone talks about Respect and Chain of Fools, but this is the ticket right here!

Thoughts on New York City…

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting New York City…I had a job interview and I decided to stay a couple of extra days and just relax…away from the family…just chill out basically. I didn’t get to do everything that I wanted to do (it was snowing & I was by myself), but while I was here, I had a really great time. Here are some reflections that I made while in NYC:

1. NYC is a bigger, more congested version of Chicago. I had never been to NYC before, so I based my assumptions about NYC on what I saw on TV. When the train came into Penn Station (the looonnngggest train ride EVER; forget trying to save money…I’ll fly next time!), the first thing that came into my mind was “Damn…I rode this long-ass Metra Ride (those in Chicago know what I'm talking about!)…this ain’t nothing but Chicago, just bigger!”

2. Surprisingly, the people aren’t rude. Another misconception. One of my
friends swore up and down that New Yorkers were rude as hell, but outside of one incident at the movie theater (and that was just an ignorant-ass kid, but that got nipped in the bud immediately…lol) I have to say that New Yorkers are cool people. Let’s just say that I’ve encountered more rude people living in Chicago…and I live here…go figure.

3. New Yorkers are aggressive. They have a whole different attitude about them. SWAGGER…and I love it. Chicago has it too, but we’re more laid back with it. New York…nah….they are very aggressive, and loud. I love listening to them talk…the accents are great. Everything is fast-paced…and I love it!

4. I can sooo see myself living here. The city is beautiful! I hope I get the job. I can’t wait! Hopefully I’ll be able to meet some people and have some fun!

To Settle....or not to Settle?

I guess that you can say that I’m at the age where most of my friends are starting to get married and have children. Actually, most of my friends are married, and I can truly say that ALL of them have married “well,” meaning that they married good guys that respect, honor and cherish them…and they feel the same way about their husbands, which is what I think it should be about anyway. I’m proud that they found true love, because it is extremely difficult to find. Does it bother me that I’m still single? At this point, not really. The only time that it gets to me right now is when I go somewhere that bringing your man is a priority (couples’ night, a double date, weddings, etc). Right now I know that I’m a work in progress. When I am ready to be married, I want to have my shit together. Basically, I want to be a bonus to my man…he has to be sufficient on his own (just like I will be) – so when we come together, we will be a hell of a unit! In my mind, the two “whole” people come together to become a united team, not two single people that need each other to be complete (hope that makes sense – to me, the word “single” used in this context implies that both people are deficient until they come together). I don’t want to be a detriment to my man; so with that being said, I will continue to work on improving myself so that when Mr. Right comes, I will be ready…I expect him to have the same mindset. We need to be two loving people who grow together.

I have some other friends who are single as well, and for some of them, being married is all they focused on, sometimes to their detriment. They want to be married so bad that they are overlooking what they used to considered “deal-breakers” in order to be with someone. To me, this is called SETTLING.

SETTLING SUCKS. PERIOD.

When you settle, you cheat yourself out of so much, One of my friends said she was staying with her man because she didn’t want to be alone, and he loves her more than she loves him. Never mind the fact that he refuses to let her meet his family and they’ve been together for almost 9 months. WTFITBS? To me, this is just a waste of her time…and his. Why hold on to this – when both can go out and find someone that can love and appreciate them for who they are. I think this is so selfish …I guess I’ll never understand it. My other friend has wanted to get married to her guy for years (they’ve been together for about 6 years). She moved hours away from her family to be with him, and still no ring. She just had a baby, and you guessed it – still no ring. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like her guy, he is cool people, but I don’t think he’s ready for marriage yet…so my question is why do you function like a married couple? Why get married if there is no incentive to change because things won’t be different? I hate seeing my friend wait, and wait, and wait for an engagement ring. I hate seeing her settle for this type of behavior even more. She is such a smart, beautiful, talented woman…and I think that if her guy won’t put a ring on it (no matter how much I think he is a cool dude), then she needs to leave and find someone who will step to the plate and be the man that she is looking for.

NEVER SETTLE.
While growing up, I was always the tomboy…All of my female cousins were older than I was and I didn’t really have any female friends until I started going to school. So all I did was hang around guys…my cousins and brothers that would actually put up with me…lol…I took more than my fair share of lumps, and when I complained to my father he would tell me to give it right back to them. He told me to demand respect; NEVER SETTLE for poor treatment or what you don’t like because you’ll always come up short for something that you need. I’ve kept this philosophy throughout my life, but the one burning question that I have: Is not settling considered being too picky? I’m not sure (I’m pretty sure people will debate this). Are you willing to get less of what you require just to have something?

Settling can tie you down and the right person could pass you by (what a gamble, huh?). Are those odds in your favor? Will the idea of not settling rule out a good man (or woman, whatever your preference is :)!) Like I said before, my dad taught me not to settle, and I use this philosophy in my life – every aspect, especially in my love life. Now don’t get me wrong, I have settled (once with a habitual cheater, the other with a guy who can be VERY verbally abusive) before in relationships, but I got out of them with the hope that something better for me would come along. But sometimes I wonder if my thoughts on settling have made me miss out on something that could have been special. Only time will tell…

Playlist
• Tell Me if You Still Care – SOS Band
• Just Be Good to Me – SOS Band
• Watcha Gonna Do for Me – Chaka Khan
• El DeBarge – Love Me in a Special Way
• Alexander O’Neal & Cherelle – Saturday Love
• The Jacksons – Let Me Show You the Way to Go

Funny...

Here's a funny clip of Barack Obama:



It just lets me know that he is a regular dude, and he can relate to anyone...LOL at when he tells the worker in the restaurant "Nah...We straight..." HILARIOUS!!!!

Watching TV...

My friends and a few of my relatives (and myself) are addicted to reality TV...One show that they watch is the Bad Girls Club. I caught an episode today and laughed the whole time...It's funny as hell. I just had to ask myself: What makes these girls "bad"? The fact that they jump in each others faces and throw furniture when they know that somebody is gonna "hold them back"...I mean, hell they never fight for real do they? I joke all the time...if they want a true bad girl, I can bring them around some of my relatives and friends...lol (Come on now...are you really scared of Jennavecia?). I'm not a bad girl by any means but if what they are casting on TV constitutes one, then I need to be in Rikers right now! lol....just rambling on what I saw today...

The new season of Snapped starts tomorrow! Yay! Yall better watch out now...

Happy New Year (and good luck on those resolutions...)

So…2008 is over…Hello 2009! I can honestly say that 2008 was the worst year of my life…I lost my job, my car was stolen (and non-drivable) - - basically this year was just a huge debacle. The only thing that I’m missing from the job was the money itself (anyone got any ideas how you can get paid for doing absolutely nothing? Just asking…lol)

Towards the end of the year, I just basically threw up my hands and just said screw it, and I’ll wait until 2009 to get things popping. At the end of the day, you have to have a sense of humor about things and be positive, because no matter how bad things are, they can get worse. I find myself applying for jobs and looking at the most crazy ignorant stuff online (thanks to Monica Mingo for posting this video – you have no idea how this lifted my spirits…) this type of ISH keeps my spirits up and my stomach muscles sore from laughing!








So, I’m excited about 2009 being here! There’s so much that I want to do, and I have a whole year to get it done. Here’s a small glimpse of my list:

1. Get a new job and relocate to NYC (that interview is coming up REAL soon)
2. Pay off my car
3. Get out of debt and start a nest egg (didn’t realize the importance of this until I lost the gig)
4. Get in shape and lose a LOT of weight
5. To become a better cook
6. To be a nicer person
7. To take a racing class (yes I want to learn to drift like Vin Diesel on The Fast & the Furious)

My list is sooo long and I won’t torture you anymore…I guess my question is what keeps you focused on keeping your resolutions?