Aretha Franklin

Ok People...I've been hearing the jokes about Aretha's hat at the inauguration...lol...but I must say that it's completely normal for black women to wear them in church. Now, I must admit, I never was that big of an Aretha fan (I just never listened to her music). I've been getting my music library together and my father told me to take a look at her music because in his words, "She BAAADDDD!" (thanks Dad!) Lately I've been listening mainly to a lot of old school because

1. Old school artists make the best music (they sing with their soul...their BEING, and you can FEEL it)

AND

2. Most of the old school artist's music is imitated anyway, so why not listen to the original.

So, I bought her greatest hit CD and have been CONVERTED ever since, just based on this one song:



This isn't the best video, but it's decent. I'm mad that I've been sleep on her for all these years! She is BAAADDD! This is the song that I've been feeling...Everyone talks about Respect and Chain of Fools, but this is the ticket right here!

Thoughts on New York City…

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting New York City…I had a job interview and I decided to stay a couple of extra days and just relax…away from the family…just chill out basically. I didn’t get to do everything that I wanted to do (it was snowing & I was by myself), but while I was here, I had a really great time. Here are some reflections that I made while in NYC:

1. NYC is a bigger, more congested version of Chicago. I had never been to NYC before, so I based my assumptions about NYC on what I saw on TV. When the train came into Penn Station (the looonnngggest train ride EVER; forget trying to save money…I’ll fly next time!), the first thing that came into my mind was “Damn…I rode this long-ass Metra Ride (those in Chicago know what I'm talking about!)…this ain’t nothing but Chicago, just bigger!”

2. Surprisingly, the people aren’t rude. Another misconception. One of my
friends swore up and down that New Yorkers were rude as hell, but outside of one incident at the movie theater (and that was just an ignorant-ass kid, but that got nipped in the bud immediately…lol) I have to say that New Yorkers are cool people. Let’s just say that I’ve encountered more rude people living in Chicago…and I live here…go figure.

3. New Yorkers are aggressive. They have a whole different attitude about them. SWAGGER…and I love it. Chicago has it too, but we’re more laid back with it. New York…nah….they are very aggressive, and loud. I love listening to them talk…the accents are great. Everything is fast-paced…and I love it!

4. I can sooo see myself living here. The city is beautiful! I hope I get the job. I can’t wait! Hopefully I’ll be able to meet some people and have some fun!

To Settle....or not to Settle?

I guess that you can say that I’m at the age where most of my friends are starting to get married and have children. Actually, most of my friends are married, and I can truly say that ALL of them have married “well,” meaning that they married good guys that respect, honor and cherish them…and they feel the same way about their husbands, which is what I think it should be about anyway. I’m proud that they found true love, because it is extremely difficult to find. Does it bother me that I’m still single? At this point, not really. The only time that it gets to me right now is when I go somewhere that bringing your man is a priority (couples’ night, a double date, weddings, etc). Right now I know that I’m a work in progress. When I am ready to be married, I want to have my shit together. Basically, I want to be a bonus to my man…he has to be sufficient on his own (just like I will be) – so when we come together, we will be a hell of a unit! In my mind, the two “whole” people come together to become a united team, not two single people that need each other to be complete (hope that makes sense – to me, the word “single” used in this context implies that both people are deficient until they come together). I don’t want to be a detriment to my man; so with that being said, I will continue to work on improving myself so that when Mr. Right comes, I will be ready…I expect him to have the same mindset. We need to be two loving people who grow together.

I have some other friends who are single as well, and for some of them, being married is all they focused on, sometimes to their detriment. They want to be married so bad that they are overlooking what they used to considered “deal-breakers” in order to be with someone. To me, this is called SETTLING.

SETTLING SUCKS. PERIOD.

When you settle, you cheat yourself out of so much, One of my friends said she was staying with her man because she didn’t want to be alone, and he loves her more than she loves him. Never mind the fact that he refuses to let her meet his family and they’ve been together for almost 9 months. WTFITBS? To me, this is just a waste of her time…and his. Why hold on to this – when both can go out and find someone that can love and appreciate them for who they are. I think this is so selfish …I guess I’ll never understand it. My other friend has wanted to get married to her guy for years (they’ve been together for about 6 years). She moved hours away from her family to be with him, and still no ring. She just had a baby, and you guessed it – still no ring. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like her guy, he is cool people, but I don’t think he’s ready for marriage yet…so my question is why do you function like a married couple? Why get married if there is no incentive to change because things won’t be different? I hate seeing my friend wait, and wait, and wait for an engagement ring. I hate seeing her settle for this type of behavior even more. She is such a smart, beautiful, talented woman…and I think that if her guy won’t put a ring on it (no matter how much I think he is a cool dude), then she needs to leave and find someone who will step to the plate and be the man that she is looking for.

NEVER SETTLE.
While growing up, I was always the tomboy…All of my female cousins were older than I was and I didn’t really have any female friends until I started going to school. So all I did was hang around guys…my cousins and brothers that would actually put up with me…lol…I took more than my fair share of lumps, and when I complained to my father he would tell me to give it right back to them. He told me to demand respect; NEVER SETTLE for poor treatment or what you don’t like because you’ll always come up short for something that you need. I’ve kept this philosophy throughout my life, but the one burning question that I have: Is not settling considered being too picky? I’m not sure (I’m pretty sure people will debate this). Are you willing to get less of what you require just to have something?

Settling can tie you down and the right person could pass you by (what a gamble, huh?). Are those odds in your favor? Will the idea of not settling rule out a good man (or woman, whatever your preference is :)!) Like I said before, my dad taught me not to settle, and I use this philosophy in my life – every aspect, especially in my love life. Now don’t get me wrong, I have settled (once with a habitual cheater, the other with a guy who can be VERY verbally abusive) before in relationships, but I got out of them with the hope that something better for me would come along. But sometimes I wonder if my thoughts on settling have made me miss out on something that could have been special. Only time will tell…

Playlist
• Tell Me if You Still Care – SOS Band
• Just Be Good to Me – SOS Band
• Watcha Gonna Do for Me – Chaka Khan
• El DeBarge – Love Me in a Special Way
• Alexander O’Neal & Cherelle – Saturday Love
• The Jacksons – Let Me Show You the Way to Go

Funny...

Here's a funny clip of Barack Obama:



It just lets me know that he is a regular dude, and he can relate to anyone...LOL at when he tells the worker in the restaurant "Nah...We straight..." HILARIOUS!!!!

Watching TV...

My friends and a few of my relatives (and myself) are addicted to reality TV...One show that they watch is the Bad Girls Club. I caught an episode today and laughed the whole time...It's funny as hell. I just had to ask myself: What makes these girls "bad"? The fact that they jump in each others faces and throw furniture when they know that somebody is gonna "hold them back"...I mean, hell they never fight for real do they? I joke all the time...if they want a true bad girl, I can bring them around some of my relatives and friends...lol (Come on now...are you really scared of Jennavecia?). I'm not a bad girl by any means but if what they are casting on TV constitutes one, then I need to be in Rikers right now! lol....just rambling on what I saw today...

The new season of Snapped starts tomorrow! Yay! Yall better watch out now...

Happy New Year (and good luck on those resolutions...)

So…2008 is over…Hello 2009! I can honestly say that 2008 was the worst year of my life…I lost my job, my car was stolen (and non-drivable) - - basically this year was just a huge debacle. The only thing that I’m missing from the job was the money itself (anyone got any ideas how you can get paid for doing absolutely nothing? Just asking…lol)

Towards the end of the year, I just basically threw up my hands and just said screw it, and I’ll wait until 2009 to get things popping. At the end of the day, you have to have a sense of humor about things and be positive, because no matter how bad things are, they can get worse. I find myself applying for jobs and looking at the most crazy ignorant stuff online (thanks to Monica Mingo for posting this video – you have no idea how this lifted my spirits…) this type of ISH keeps my spirits up and my stomach muscles sore from laughing!








So, I’m excited about 2009 being here! There’s so much that I want to do, and I have a whole year to get it done. Here’s a small glimpse of my list:

1. Get a new job and relocate to NYC (that interview is coming up REAL soon)
2. Pay off my car
3. Get out of debt and start a nest egg (didn’t realize the importance of this until I lost the gig)
4. Get in shape and lose a LOT of weight
5. To become a better cook
6. To be a nicer person
7. To take a racing class (yes I want to learn to drift like Vin Diesel on The Fast & the Furious)

My list is sooo long and I won’t torture you anymore…I guess my question is what keeps you focused on keeping your resolutions?